Holy shit, this is going to be two hours long?
Would this pen actually make it all the way to my jugular?
Is hand sanitizer flammable? I could use it like napalm!
Holy shit, how many scabs can one person have on their head?
Dude, showers. Not optional.
There is not one single boob in this room.
God I love boobs.
I wonder if that toupee is glued on or stapled.
God I love boobs.
Kill me.
I can smell his breath all the way across this table.
If I were to go on a killing spree, what order should I take these assholes out so they don't stop me?
Boobs.
That shirt is way too shiny.
I wonder if he's asleep or dead. I hope for his sake he's dead.
I wish I were dead.
16. 16 fucking scabs on one bald head. Nasty.
Boobs.
What is this meeting about anyways? Maybe I should be listening. Meh. Fuck it.
Boobs.
Oooo. Missed one. 17.
Fucking engineers.
This guy on the speakerphone sounds like the bad guy on Inglorious Basterds. Fucking nazis.
No signal. No twitter. Fuck.
Yup. Verified. 17 scabs.
Boobs.
What the FUCK am I going to do for the next hour and fifty-five minutes!?!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Actual thoughts during a work meeting 5/17/2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Actual Work email exchange Friday 13, May, 2011
From: Worthless HR Manager
Sent: Friday, May 13, 2011 3:15 PM
To: Senecablues
Subject: sorry
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to send that e-mail to you.
-----------------------
From: Senecablues
Sent: Friday, May 13, 2011 3:20 PM
To: Worthless HR Manager
Subject: RE: sorry
E-mail is hard.
---------------------
From: Worthless HR Manager
Sent: Friday, May 13, 2011 3:22 PM
To: Senecablues
Subject: RE: RE sorry
Shut up! You should change your name!
---------------------
From: Senecablues
Sent: Friday, May 13, 2011 3:28 PM
To: Worthless HR Manager
Subject: RE: RE: RE: sorry
Our names aren't even close. Perhaps if you tried to sound it out phonetically it would be easier. Tell you what. I'll drop by my business card and you can use it for reference for future e-mails. You can put it on that cork board with the pictures of all your pets.
---------------------
From: HR Manager
Sent: Friday, May 13, 2011 3:15 PM
To: Senecablues
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: sorry
I don't have any pets! Just pictures of my kids!
--------------------
(I wonder if she has figured it out yet. Probably, not. She wasn't there when I dropped off my business card. Her kids really are fucking ugly, by the way.)